The Witch (2016) Slow paced, bored.though.the.whole.movie 3 horns up out of 8. It’s 1630 and a dude gets banished by the church, relocates his family to a small plot of land. When the family gets there, strange things start happening. Eventually they begin to think their daughter is to blame, but is she? Whooooo cares? We were looking forward to seeing The Witch because a lot of people loved this movie, guess what? We aren’t a lot of people. The Witch is slow, methodical, boring and failed to creep us out. The last 2 minutes of the movie is the only redeeming part, but that can’t give us back the last hour and a half of our lives. VioletHör gives it 2 horns up, Kevin131 gives it a period piece 1 horn barely up.